Friday, September 10

enough of it
i think i had enough of spiritual life... today i went out with alvin, daniel, monster, samuel, elton.
i can't believe i actually go out with monster. oh well... probably because i'm on compasionate vegetarian diet today. cannot show my temper in front of everyone.

anyway, i was freakingly bored to deaf~ or probably too sad to learn that myself is in terrible enclosed cylinder...
elton entered my spiritual world. he saw a Dorje, enclosed inside a dome-shaped cylinder. i'm trapped inside my own world. nobody enters my true world. this is the real me. i don't believe myself in the first place. i was sad after then...
even though elton tried to exert fire energy to help me extinguish that 'cylinder', i think i didn't use much of the energy.

the rest of the evening was spent with some spiritual Q&As. well, i think i should end my spiritual stuff. i learnt about guardian angels & stuff like that though. but i think i dun fit in this category. yep, i'm leaving this life for good.

=(

i still need to go shopping badly. i asked kencer & Koon, but they are just too busy. dunno doing wat... at first i was VERI VERI pissed off. but i remembered about the firey energy still entrapped inside me, left by elton. but anyhow, i think my bad temper comes from the energy.
somehow, i start to blame myself again.

oh mi gawk. it's PMS again.

it's nice to see good things happening on my blog, nice comments by fantastic people. =P
but why does it have to happen when i was so determined to give him up. =(

it hurts inside... it does.